Dealing with rejection as a sissy gurl!

Today’s post is not going to be just fluff as I know you love to read, but instead I wanted to publicly answer a question one of my callers on my fetish counseling lines asked me about.  After counseling him “her” for a while it struck me just how many of you “fulltime”  sissy gurls may have the same problem.

My caller was freshly divorced after a 20 Year marriage. Apparently they had agreed to stay married until the youngest of their children was grown up and out of the house. That is a very honorable decision to make, but a very difficult one for both sides. The split in their relationship came when the wife found some of the magazines featuring Sissy Gurls in different explicit situations as well as a small female wardrobe. Upon confronting him about her find in a rather irate manner, the Sissy Gurl I spoke to had confessed about his need to be a sissy gurl. His wife asked him how long he had been a freak now (ouch) and where he went to live out his perverted fantasies. When he told her that he had always been that way and had honestly thought that he could leave it behind, but found roughly 2 years ago when their relationship had cooled considerably the need came back with a vengeance. Needless to say the rest of the conversation didn’t go very well.

According to my caller that was about 7 years ago and after they both had calmed down and the name calling had ceased they came up with a very strict set of rules which would allow them to stay together for the children. There was no reason to make them suffer. As soon as the youngest had moved out, they filed for divorce.

When he first moved out and into his new apartment he expected to feel a sense of relieve, happiness etc. Instead he feels rejected, lonely and scared for his future. All natural emotions I assure you.

Apparently the sissy in him is now fearful to be cursed to be alone for the rest of her life. She is afraid of how her grown up children will view her now, that her “horrible” secret came to light during the divorce hearing. She is scared about her future period, not sure is she should remain in the Area she had spent for the last 15 years or move somewhere where nobody knew her. All those questions are natural as well.

Here s some of the advice I gave her:

First off your children are now fully grown and have the ability to understand that you have a right to your own life just as they do. From what I was told she never dressed in front of them or put her children in any sort of danger. So yes they are probably a little shocked right now, but in honesty crossdressing or being feminized is not a big deal anymore. Young people are a lot more aware of all those things that us older generations think. Sit down and have an adult conversation with them without taking it into anything too personal. They do not need to know about your sex life unless they straight out ask you if you are straight, bi or gay. Give them a little time to get used to it. Eventually they will come around and realize that you are still the same person you have always been. You are still their loving parent who has provided for them and protected them as they grew up. Just don’t be too shocked when they ask you flat out why you kept it hidden all these years or to see you dressed as a female. If they do either, be honest. The time for hiding is over now. If they do want to see you dressed, remember that these are your children and dress casual and respectfully.

Personally I suggest that you do move somewhere else and get a brand new start if your employment allows it. I would give the same advice to anyone who comes out of a painful divorce. The reason is not so much what others think of you now, that never should concern you to begin with, but the painful and even good memories you will encounter everywhere you go. It is called closure and everyone needs it.

There is no reason to fear that you will be alone without a partner for the rest of your life. I do suggest however that you for one heal first. Jumping from relationship to relationship or becoming promiscuous is never a good idea. Give yourself some time to get comfortable with yourself again and try to find the person you have become since you were last single. You may think you are the same, but you aren’t. Unless you have refused to grow up at all (and it doesn’t appear that way) you will have changed in ways you may  not even realize yet. Get to know the wonderful human being you really are and work on the things you don’t like about yourself.

Really decide where you want your life to go with being a sissy gurl. Do you want to be the occasional dresser or do you really feel the need to be a “fulltime” sissy gurl. Meaning unless you are working, you live the life as a woman. It is going to make a big difference in how you need to proceed and how you need to go about dating again when you are ready and healed again.

DO NOT make the same mistake again you did before. With other words it is better to be honest with someone up front and take the chance that they will bow out, then hiding something that is going to be part of you for the rest of your life and be found out after you have build a life together. We women are in general really strange creatures and no matter if you dress like one or not, you still don’t have us figured out yet. I for one know from myself that I can accept and deal with something that is honestly told to me, then having to find out for myself. Most women don’t do very well with purposeful lies.

Don’t assume that every woman is going to react to you the same way. Some women are extremely conservative or religious, while many others are open minded and even may like the idea of having a sissy gurl as a life partner.

If you do get rejected, realize that this is not something against you “personally”. That is easier said then done, but they are not rejecting you the person, but your fetish need. Yes, part of you, but far from everything that defines you. YOu are a lot more then just a male feeling the need to dress as a woman. Always remember that if someone rejects you for that one thing, you are not compatible to begin with and better off without them. Don’t see it as a bad thing, instead rejoice since you just saved yourself a possible lifetime of lies and pain. 

Rejections are not always the same either to be honest. Sometimes an instant rejection is just a reaction to something the person doesn’t feel comfortable with because they have the wrong information about it, are unfamiliar with it, or you have presented it wrong. Instead of reacting in turn in a bad way, tell her that you are willing to talk to her about it should she change her mind later one.  She may come around once she had a little time to get used to the idea and then she may not. If you start flipping out on her so you just slammed the door shut for good.

Don’t contact her again, let her do the next move. If she reaches out to you, be polite and take her lead. If she wants to talk she will and she will ask you questions. If you don’t hear from her again…move on.

As you can see there is never a situation in this world that is exclusive just to you. Take heart in that knowledge. Others have gone through the fire and come out shiny and new on the other side. You can too.

Your Headmistress

Goddess Bella Donna